how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
