I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we're making bets on your personal life
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
