should my penis look like a turkey
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
