I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
