It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
