I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
