I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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