Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
