yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize