You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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