Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
