hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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