i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Still dying that you shit outside
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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