Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
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