Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
