im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
