It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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