I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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