Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
