Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
