I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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