Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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