I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
