question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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