I don't think brook has ever known best
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize