3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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