Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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