I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
