South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
