just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
