Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
