There is no way he is gay with that hair.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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