is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We're too hungover to prance.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
