last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize