he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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