K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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