yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
