i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
