Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
