I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
