i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
