I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
