Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
