i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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