Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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