At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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