Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
