Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
