So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
