You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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