Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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