is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
