This dress was meant to end up on your floor
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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