We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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