Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
