Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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