Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize