I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
