New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I think my moral compass just broke
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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