Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
