So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just forgot I was standing up.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
